Laugh
by SecretKeeper2
Summary: When Hermione is intoxicated with a uncurable happiness potion, it can't be good. A stunned, dazed Malfoy, a jealous Ron, plus a very freaky Snape (smiling!) Chapter 2 up!
1. Default Chapter

I'm ALIVE!  
  
My last few Harry Potter fanfics haven't made much sparks, (trashcan!) Needless to say, here's another one.  
  
Whether or not this is going to be continue or not, depends on the readers (you).  
  
I'm a harsh writer, somewhat parasitic. I usually only continue if every chapter has 5 reviews.  
  
Also. I hate love stories, cause they're all so clichéd. Ick! Boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Boy falls in love with girl, girl falls in love with boy. (there's more!) trouble arises, which forbids boy to date girl, visa versa. In the end, everything ends happy, happy, happy and the new couple enter joyously in the world. Hand me a vomit bag, someone!  
  
I know, I'm a MAJOR hypocrite. This is going to be a 'love story'.  
  
Anyway. this is the new story plot. Enjoy :)  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me, I'm just a crazy high school fan who feeds on fan fiction.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Summary: Hermione Granger is your average teen- excepting that she's a witch- but she has a major problem, which she contracted when a magical experiment backfired, and left her with an uncontrollable laughing problem. Of course, the hero comes to save the day. ^_~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Laugh  
  
Prologue  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Hermione Granger was a 5th year Hogwarts student when she had been inflicted by the 'disastrous experiment'.  
  
It was a usual Potions lesson, (Snape giving detentions to CERTAIN Gryffindors, etc, etc) and the 5th years were learning how to brew the Happiness Potion.  
  
The Laughter Potion was a particular hard potion to boil. The contents had to be chopped up finely, and there was even a certain mood you had to feel when you were stirring the mixture.  
  
"You have to generate a mood of Happiness," Snape said dourly. "Some say it works better if the maker wears a smile on their face."  
  
Neville, who had been sitting next to Hermione, looked anything but happy. He was gazing at the ingredients with an expression of dread on his face.  
  
"Lighten up, Neville!" Hermione whispered, giving him an assuring smile.  
  
Neville smiled weakly back.  
  
"Mr Longbottom," Snape drawled, his cold black eyes glittering with anticipation. "Perhaps this time, you could do it yourself, instead of relying on Miss Granger's help?"  
  
Jumping up, startled, Neville flushed, stuttering, "yes, Professor."  
  
"Remember. You must measure your ingredients precisely. Too much or too little can produce rather unpleasant effects," Snape said, "Also, under NO circumstances should you drink this potion. You are to soak a tiny bit of this potion on this cotton pad and rub it against your forehead. Am I understood?"  
  
The class murmured a yes.  
  
Hermione sorted out her ingredients, measuring and double checking, looking at Neville occasionally to see how he was doing.  
  
"Miss Granger. I do remember I told you that Mr Longbottom can fare on his own," Snape said, watching them like a hawk.  
  
Ducking her head, Hermione grounded up her happy nuts into a fine powder, trying her best to smile, not scowl.  
  
Hermione had one more ingredient left when suddenly, a heart of a deer came flying past, hitting Neville on the head.  
  
Neville jerked back. His arm swiping across the table, swiping all of his ingredients into Hermione's cauldron. Somehow, his wand flew in as well.  
  
The cauldron bubbled up, and a whole fountain sprayed in the air. It showered Hermione completed. She was drenched.  
  
Hermione's mouth opened in shock. A few drops of the potion fell into her mouth.  
  
Snape looked angry. "Miss Granger. Rinse your mouth out immediately. Potter, do not touch her. After Miss Granger has rinse out her mouth, you are to lead her to the hospital."  
  
Hermione obeyed, rinsing out her mouth quickly. The potion tasted nice. Rich and creamy.. Sort of like chocolate. but delicious. It tasted wonderful. She wanted more.  
  
Reluctantly, she rinsed out her mouth and followed Harry to the hospital wing.  
  
Madam Pomfrey made her take shower after shower, as well as using some magical mouthwash that had a nasty, acrid aftertaste to it.  
  
After all that, she was put in one of the hospital beds and was told to stay put for the rest of the day.  
  
"But.." She protested. She was to have Professor Vector next. He was her favourite teacher.  
  
Madam Pomfrey gave her a stern glare. Sighing, Hermione rested against the bed.  
  
~+~+~+~  
  
The next day, Hermione woke up with a smile on her face, and a taste of creamy chocolate on her lips.  
  
Madam Pomfrey hurried in. The moment she saw Hermione, she shook her head. "I'm afraid there is no cure, Miss Granger."  
  
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, smiling. She felt wonderful, like floating on clouds.  
  
"You absorbed the Happiness potion at its most potent. You were completely bathed in it," Madam Pomfrey said quietly.  
  
"I'm sure it doesn't matter," Hermione said happily, getting out of bed. "Thank you terribly so for doing your best. I appreciate it beyond words." With that, she stood up and gave the lady a warm hug, before waltzing out of the room.  
  
~+~+~+~  
  
The first class was Care of Magical Creatures. After she had gotten her books, she had eaten a breakfast of toast and pumpkin juice.  
  
Somehow, the taste of chocolate was still in her mouth.  
  
Practically floating to Hagrid's hut, Hermione greeted all the students that passed her warmly, unperturbed even at the odd looks that she received.  
  
She was the last person there.  
  
"'Emione, yer late," Hagrid said gruffly, "I 'eard o' yer little accident at Potions yesterday."  
  
"Accident? It wasn't an accident, Hagrid. It was the turning point of my life!" Hermione hugged the big, burly teacher. "I am terribly sorry that I'm late. Have I missed anything?"  
  
Hagrid gave her an odd look. "No, sit down."  
  
Hermione sat down next to Draco Malfoy.  
  
"Move, mudblood," Draco hissed.  
  
He was rewarded by a dazzling smile. "Oh! I'm sorry! Did I disturb you in any way?" Hermione asked apologetically, still smiling. "Do you want me to move?"  
  
"Yes, Granger," Malfoy said, slightly dazed.  
  
"Hermione, what on earth is wrong with you?" Harry said impatiently. "Come on, we have a miniature serpent to tend to."  
  
Automatically, Hermione turned to him, smile on 100%. "Harry! What's wrong?"  
  
"The potion sure was potent," Ron mumbled  
  
"The miniature serpent?" Harry said, frowning.  
  
Hermione nodded, laughing. "Oh- sorry. I've got so much on my mind now. Let's go!"  
  
The miniature serpents were tiny, vicious creatures. They hissed as they were lifted out one by one.  
  
Hermione carefully picked one up. "Isn't it adorable?" She cooed.  
  
"Adorable?" Ron looked disgusted. "That potion is turning you bonkers, Mione."  
  
The creature, which had been hissing before, stopped, turning quite sedate at Hermione's touch.  
  
In fact, it seemed happy.  
  
Harry and Ron were both deeply disturbed.  
  
"Mione, let me hold it," Harry muttered.  
  
Hermione handed the serpent over to Harry.  
  
The serpent lay in his hands, docile for a while. All of the sudden, it lashed up. Furious. It tried to bite Harry's hand.  
  
"It doesn't like you," Hermione said, still wearing a smile.  
  
"It doesn't," Harry said dourly.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
After a while, the potion wore off a tiny bit. However, Hermione still laughed during the most inappropriate times.  
  
~ ~  
  
~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Ugh! Stuffed up chapter. Flame 4 all I care. Give me 5 (reviews) and I'll give you another chappie :)  
  
*Sk* 


	2. Laugh yourself sick, She loves him, she ...

Wowee! So much feed back! (faints)  
  
OK. I'm going to change my little policy thing. The number of reviews I get per chapter will determine whether or not I update in 5 days, 5 hours- or 5 weeks.  
  
Still.. I love u guys madly, badly!!!!:)  
  
Let's go onto the next chapter! Just a little tippy thing. I LOVE a bad-boy Draco.. So don't expect him to be all nice during this fanfic!  
  
Anyway. bear with me. This chapter is going to have a LOT of flashbacks..  
  
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine! (J.K Rowling)  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Laugh  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Part I- Laugh yourself sick Part II- She loves him, she loves you not  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
PART I- Laugh yourself sick ~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Hermione Granger flopped down on her bed, placing her hot cheek on the surface of the cool glass.  
  
She had just had the worst time of her life..  
  
*Flashback*  
  
She was walking down a deserted street, when rough hands suddenly grabbed her, and jabbed her into the alleyway.  
  
Hermione tried to kick, struggle, and scream, but her captor's hands were too strong.  
  
Finding herself pinned to a wall, she saw the face of her attackers: 2 beery, drunk looking youths who stank like hell and looked like they hadn't showered for at least 1 year.  
  
"C'mon pretty face- let's have some fun," leered the guy, clamping a stinking, sticky hand over her mouth.  
  
Hermione shook her head vigorously, trying to free herself.  
  
"Aww, I like girls who play hard ta get, dun ya?" The other guy slurred, sliding a hand over her body.  
  
"Ya pretty," whispered the first guy, leaning close, freeing her mouth, but still pinning her to the alley wall.  
  
Hermione wriggled her hand to her pocket, trying to get her wand. Her fingers fastened to the wood. Furiously, she yanked it out, and pointed it straight to the faces of the attackers.  
  
The youths stared at the wand dubiously. "What? Yer attack in me wit dat lil stick?"  
  
She opened her mouth to shot a spell..  
  
But instead- she laughed.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
Hermione bit down on her lip, breathing in deeply to quench her giggles. It had been too funny, to see the looks that past through their faces..  
  
*Flashback*  
  
The first guy immediately backed away. "Ya conkers or somethin'?" He asked nervously.  
  
By that time, her whole body was shaking with laughter. Inside, she wanted to scream, run long and hard so no one would be able to find her.  
  
Outside, however, she was too tired to do anything- except for laugh.  
  
The familiar taste of chocolate flooded in her mouth.  
  
~*~*A/N: Of course, with all good things, there were side affects. I bet all of you are thinking right now, 'wouldn't it be so good to have a smile on your face and chocolate taste in your mouth for 24/7'.~*~*  
  
Suddenly, she started coughing and laughing at the same time, wheezing frantically. Quite out of breath.  
  
Fear clutched her, swarming over her in nauseous waves. She had felt this only one time before..  
  
Of course, every time she felt afraid- she would laugh, and laugh she did.  
  
By this time, the attackers thought that it wasn't quite a bright idea to rape Hermione after all.  
  
The first one started to bolt. The second one gave Hermione a disgusted look. "All the pretty ones are all off these days. They're either not straight- or plain bonkers, like this one."  
  
Sinking to the alley floor, Hermione felt the familiar chocolate sweetness seep through her mouth.  
  
She vomited.  
  
Wiping her mouth with a tissue that was handy in her pocket, Hermione did a quick neatening charm, before standing up shakily.  
  
There wasn't quite anything that could disguise tears..  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
She could practically taste the bitter, sour sweet taste of the chocolaty vomit now. It was hard, sometimes. Whenever she wanted to laugh, she'd cry..  
  
All the same, it had saved her in a lot of ways.. Snape, in particular, had actually attempted to be nice to her.  
  
*flashback*  
  
Walking into Potions class, Hermione noticed that Snape was actually.. Smiling?  
  
Freaky.  
  
Well, it was close enough to be a smile, although it looked quite strained. Very strained- forced, even.  
  
Instantly, she doubled up, laughing. She couldn't help it! A smiling Snape was even better than a Snape with a pink, flowery dress and a old lady's parasol!  
  
The dour looking Professor looked like he wanted to snap out something- take off points, maybe. But he forced on another smile.  
  
Harry and Ron entered the classroom, looking at her strangely to see what she was so worked up about.  
  
"Look. at Snape," she whispered, choking back giggles.  
  
Ron and Harry took one look and burst out laughing themselves.  
  
"Potter, Weasley- that is quite.." Snape instantly realised that he was shouting. He sat down promptly, forcing on another fake, strained smile, wiping a cotton pad that looked suspiciously like it was stained with Happiness potion on his forehead.  
  
They hadn't stopped laughing even months later..  
  
*End of flashback*  
  
Hermione stifled a giggle, lifting her head slightly from the cool glass table.  
  
Tomorrow, it was the first back to Hogwarts.  
  
More sessions spent with a punctured looking Snape, with a forced on smile on his face.  
  
Barely controlling her laughter, she whipped open a tiny bottle of smelling salts- which she had forgotten to bring with her.  
  
The powerful, strong smell instantly quenched her laughter. Grudgingly, she tried to force her mind of a smiling Snape.  
  
It didn't work. All her mind did was come up with another picture: A smiling Snape in a pink dress- and a parasol!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
PART II- She loves him, she loves you not  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Stuffing the last book in her trunk and sitting on it to squish down its contents, Hermione did a quick mental check of all the items she brought.  
  
It was all there.  
  
Kicking Crookshanks gently to make him go down the stairs, Hermione dragged her trunk down to the ground level of her house and to the front entrance.  
  
She could smell something that was very familiar. French toast- or a hot cup of malt flavoured milk. (you get tired of chocolate once you've had it too much.. Go to the Cadbury factory- you'll see!)  
  
Her stomach growled hungrily.  
  
She laughed, making her way to the kitchen, where her mother was flipping the browned pieces of toast on the pan.  
  
"Morning, honey, how are you?" Mrs Granger asked.  
  
"I'm fine, Mom, really," Hermione said quickly, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. (not American. but love da spelling!)  
  
Opening a can of the choicest kitty food, she scraped it into Crookshanks bowl, patting the pampered feline fondly on the head. "Last day on Muggle food, Crookshanks," she assured him.  
  
Crookshanks gave a haughty flick of his tail, as if to say: it better be!  
  
Hermione smiled.  
  
It was during those times when she adored the Happiness Potion the most. Even during most tragic times, she had the ability to make people smile and laugh. Feel happy again.  
  
Harry had termed it 'a magic touch'.  
  
Also, Hermione never truly felt sad. There were times, after she had laughed way too much, or when something truly tragic had happened, that she would shed a few tears, but most times, she was generally very happy.  
  
But. was magically produced happiness as good as genuine happiness?  
  
Shaking her head to clear the thought, Hermione accepted the plate of French toast, and the glass of hot Horlicks (I hate horlicks, by the way..) and sat down on the kitchen table to eat breakfast.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A/N: I'm sure you'd want to know what else Hermione did, how Hermione dressed, la de da de da. but personally, I'm getting bored out of my brains here. Need Drakie-poo. NOW!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
The Muggle barrier of platform 9 and ¾ was one of the weirdest things that Hermione enjoyed.  
  
Somehow, though, she liked propping herself nonchalantly on the barrier, and sliding through. The thought made her giggle.  
  
Today, she decided to go backwards.  
  
Not exactly Dux material, but it made her feel nice and kiddie again, comforted, somehow.  
  
The moment she physically bumped into something- someone, she knew instantly that it wasn't a good idea.  
  
Especially when she toppled back onto that someone/something.  
  
And landed in an awkward position- right on top of. HIM.  
  
Oh yes, it was a guy.  
  
Silver blue eyes, a body that felt good even though she wasn't THAT CLOSE.  
  
The asset that confirmed it the neat blonde hair-which was the most uncommon, yet appealing shade of pale blonde.  
  
Also, the unmistakable waves of sex appeal- she had heard enough in the girls' dorms at night about a CERTAIN guy..  
  
Piecing all of this in her mind, she realised who it was.  
  
And she laughed.  
  
"Geez, mudblood. Get off me," Malfoy snarled. (oh god, oh god. to have been there! SK faints)  
  
"With pleasure," Hermione choked between spasms of laughter, trying to get up but failing utterly. "Sorry." she spluttered.  
  
"Psychopathic mudblood," Malfoy sneered, but he looked interested- very interested. In fact.. A bit TOO interested.  
  
(Those were one of the times when laughing comes in handy)  
  
Hermione laughed slightly, and pulled back a little.  
  
"Amazing bouncing ferret," she responded, smoothing back her bushy- but manageable hair, giving him a dazzling smile.  
  
Getting up gracefully, Hermione heaved up her trunk and started pushing it forward.  
  
A very dazed looking Malfoy stared after her.  
  
The moment she saw Harry and Ron, she burst out laughing again. (Getting a few WEIRD looks..)  
  
Harry and Ron were 6th year guys now, not the immature, juvenile people that they were when she first knew them.  
  
The legendary boy-who-lived was now boyishly handsome, with a heart rending smile, gorgeous smile and cheekbones so high that his face looked chiselled. The gawky figure of his pre-adolescence was gone, replaced by the body of a man, just growing into adulthood. He wasn't exactly a male model- but he was pretty good looking, when it came to your typical, average English guy.  
  
Ron hadn't done too badly either. A summer spent in the muggle world playing the entirely new game of 'basketball' had strengthened and lengthened his muscles. He wasn't exactly heart stopping, but his looks were quietly handsome, enough to catch any girl's attention. Dark red hair and a few freckles, with a stubborn chin- that suited him just fine.  
  
When they looked at her concernedly, she waved a hand, "no, no.." she gasped. "Malfoy.."  
  
Ron had the most disgusted look on his face. "THAT ferret?"  
  
Her smile quivered slightly. She cast her eyes down and began reciting all the Arithmacy (is that how you spell it?) formulae that she knew.  
  
It was an exercise that proved to be quite subduing at times.  
  
"What did he do to you?" Ron said, a jealous look on his face. He looked MURDEROUS. Almost as if he could jump up straight away and strangle Malfoy with his own, bare hands.  
  
Hermione looked away quickly. She couldn't afford to laugh right now. "The bouncing ferret didn't do anything," she said, in a slightly strangled voice. "Nothing at all."  
  
Harry gave her a very suspicious look. "Are you all right, Mione?" He asked softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.  
  
"I'm all right," she said, putting her head on his shoulder. "It's the potion acting up again."  
  
Ron was watching them with a hurt look on his face (I like Ron, I love Draco. There is a difference! ^_~) "Are you sure he didn't do anything," he asked, in a lost voice, feeling slightly left out.  
  
She looked up, her green eyes fastening on his brown ones. She smiled.  
  
It was a smile that was meant to mend hearts- not break them.  
  
But at that moment, Ron Weasley felt a panging, heart shattering sense of loss. The realisation of what was truly going on..  
  
His wish that Hermione Granger would fall in love was finally coming true-  
  
The only thing was, the boy wasn't him.. It was his best friend.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
(-_-) (-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-) (-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)  
  
(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-) (-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)  
  
(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-) (-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)  
  
(-_-)(-_-)(-_-) (-_-)(-_-)  
  
(-_-)  
  
THIS CHAPTER IS OVER!!!!!  
  
(*)(*)(*)(*)  
  
A/N (Author's Notes..)  
  
Deds:  
  
'her (his) smile was meant to mend hearts- not break them' - "Ruins of Ambrai, Melanie Rawn.  
  
"his (her) wish that.. Was finally coming true.. The only thing was, it wasn't him (her) it was his (her) best friend" -Squire, Tamora Pierce.  
  
(I know, I know! It isn't exactly directly quoted, but anyway.. Whatever.)  
  
Also. not much on Draco in that chappy. Sorry! Also.. I think this chapter may have been a bit um, depressing..  
  
I'm reading 'Ruins of Ambrai' for what is SURELY the 58th time (I don't keep track) If I somehow veer off topic and suddenly launch into a different world (literally). don't kill me.. (actually, I wouldn't blame you if you did!)  
  
Anyway.. I hope u enjoyed da fic!  
  
Just some feedback about da feedback.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
JoeBob1379: Another instaneous, formed on the spot plan! Thanks 4da review!  
  
lozza: Happiness potion seeping into brain cells, I suspect. Now, your comment has given me a very interesting idea! Hermione- Hagrids.. Daughter? (no, no, no. that was a very un-funny joke)  
  
ChoChanger: I like the thought of a dazed, silenced Malfoy! More like a dazed, STUNNED Malfoy. but anyway! Thank U!  
  
Girl-named-Belle: Straight to the point. will do!  
  
Anna: :) :) :) Can I say anything else? :) :)  
  
Beatrix Tribal: OK, whatever you say!!!! (-._.-)  
  
Lina: Fun, fun, fun! (bounces up and down)  
  
Dazed Panda: Who am I to argue? :) lol ^_~  
  
Enchanted Quill: Thanks! I'm flattered- sincerely so! :) :)  
  
Blueberri: Really? Thanks! (^_^)  
  
hmmm: I know what you mean. Doing that could give you an ever-lasting rep. of a seriously freaky, psycho person!!! :)  
  
avapouhi: You can see, happiness isn't quite the best elixir- especially man produced happiness. Still luv ur review anyways!  
  
Draco is the man: I agree (with your screen name) what can we do with out Draco? (sighs) anyway. will right more!  
  
Von: Thanks times 1000000, now, review my five other stories! (Kidding, kidding.. But you do have 4 more to go!)  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
I need to add this part 'cause feedbacks on feedback can sometimes B taken offensively. The above material is meant to be 100% sincere and positive. If anyone is offended, it is entirely unintentional.  
  
If you do get really offended, flame me. (my head gets a bit swollen at times. Too many flattering comments may prove as fatal- near fatal, anyway ^_~ lol)  
  
Hope u enjoyed da update! Remember- more feedback=faster updates. *Sk* 


End file.
